The Pain I Feel for You
by Vains
Summary: Its conflicting developing feelings for the person you want to destroy the most. How will Renji be able to go through with his plan of destroy Kuchiki Corps. when he can't seem to bring himself to hurt the cause of his childhood scars. I know pretty bad summary but the story is better Warning: Yaoi, as in male honey love, suggestive scenes, crude language. Haha...


I thought of making this because I felt like I was always stuck on Grimmjow and Ichigo and I thought that maybe it was time to expand my horizons, so I made this story with the thought of "I wonder how it'll turn out." Even right now I have no idea where I'm going with this.

By the way, sorry if the characters seem OOC to you guys, and warning I'm not so awesome when it comes to third person stories.

I know I know a lot of I don't knows, but theres no need for second guessing in reading it, go ahead give it a nibble, you know you want toooooo. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach just the story line in this thing.

* * *

Chapter One

No words could come out of the redhead's mouth as he stared into the slate gray eyes of the man standing before him. His mind was blank and his heart beat at an abnormal rate. His body was tense with a tingly sensation on it.

The man's breathing picked up the closer the man walked towards him, he couldn't help follow the raven heads graceful movements. His sure way of walking, the broad but slim back, straight with confidence. Not one wavering, unsure move came from him. Renji was especially interested in the cold ashen eyes of the man. They were the eyes of a person that looked down at those unequal to him, the eyes of a noble.

Realization hit the long haired man a little late, as he could not top gazing at such a beautiful creature that walked by the glass. Though he knew perfectly well who this man was, he was the person that took everything away from him, the person who stripped him of everything that he held dear. Even though, his gaze did not waver, although it pained him to admit, the attraction he felt towards the cruel man was overpowering his senses and sanity.

Even though, he refused to forget, to let this mere lust take hold of what he held true. He wasn't going to forget the initial goal, the reason why he was throwing away his dignity, it was all for one purpose; revenge.

Closing his eyes, he filled his lungs with air, stabilizing his breathing and calming down the bird in his heart. He was going to do this, the reason why he worked so hard to strive to the top, to be equal with the person now in front of the doors of the conference room, where his plan to destroy the one who destroyed his life would begin.

Renji stood up as his orange haired secretary walked in, wearing one of her usual outfits that seemed two sizes too small that exposed what a man would consider the most important part of a woman's physique out for everyone to see the grandeur of her body.

"Mr. Abarai, the president of Kuchiki corps is here." She announced as she held the door open for the three men behind her to come in, she grinned wildly at her boss signaling with her eyes the eye candy that first walked in for them to see.

"Yes, thank you, Rangiku, you may get back to work now." He spoke with an inclining tone at the end to suggest that she really go do work and not gossip, like he knew she would.

"Yes, sir." She sighed, keeping back a whine as she turned and closed the door behind her.

"Good morning Mr. Abarai, it's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance." Spoke the raven haired president as he held a hand out for the slightly bigger man to take. Said man turned and looked into the eyes of the noble, already mentally prepared for what's to come.

The red head took the offered hand and shook it, trying to ignore the impure thoughts that ran through his head. He had t remind himself that because of this man, he suffered for many years alone. Lost everyone that he held dear and the one place he called home.

"Yes I'm glad you put an interest in my offer and came to discuss the details today." He ended the shake as he finished his sentence. The rest did the same as they passed around simple introductions and hallow comments about each other's success.

"Please sit." He finally said, motioning with his hand as he himself sat down as well. The man in charge of presenting the deal began speaking holding the booklet that everyone else held in front of them.

Renji could still feel the tingly sensation left on his hand from the other man's touch. All he could think about was the soft slender fingers of fair skinned man and how much more beautiful he was up close than when he first saw him.

His heart ached at the feeling of how wrong it all was. The desire to know the man more and the want to destroy him, feelings that surged through him and clouded his thoughts. Preventing him from even remotely listening to even a word of what his presenter was even talking about. The slide show seemed like a blur and the words on the paper weren't any better. He was glad he had already studied the presentation beforehand.

"...and so our company being the smaller one we would like to cooperate with yours so we can both grow and reap off the benefits." Said the presenter as he closed the last page of the booklet in his hand, setting it down on the table.

Renji stared at the man not possibly thinking that it was already the end. A presentation that long had to last at least two hours and with how nit-picky the man was for details it was sure to be longer. Such a long time could not have passed right in front of the red heads eyes and him not notice.

He couldn't have zoned out for such a long time that he didn't hear a single word from beginning to end about the whole deal.

"Any questions?" was soon followed by a conversation of statistics and rate of growth that he was obviously not interesting in hearing, not that he had full understanding of what was going on at all. On the other side of the table he felt the eyes of a much less interested person in the other men's conversation like he was on him.

He turned, gazing right into the silver eyes of the other, unsure of what to do. He felt like he was being studied, tested maybe, to see if he was really worthy enough to be held in an equal position to that of the noble. Although unlikely, since the eyes already said what didn't have to be told of what he thinks.

It made Renji feel all the more hate toward the man, why did he have to look at people with such indifference, as if saying that no matter whom you are, you are beneath me. Why? Was it because he came from a rich background? Was that what privileged children were taught?

It didn't matter though, he knew that soon he'd be crushing those autocratic eyes and that ego of a noble that he had.

"I would like to further discuss this matter at a later date, Mr. Abarai." The low ring of the nobles voice catching him by surprise. The room turned into a hush as all eyes turned to look at the young noble speaking.

The red heads eyes narrowed slightly and unconsciously raised an eyebrow at the suggestion.

"That would be fine, Mr. Kuchiki." Renji smiled slightly, ignoring the screaming thoughts that ran through his head.

"Say tonight. I'll have my secretary send yours the information. Have a good day." He spoke as he stood with his groupie following suit.

Renji stood up as well taking the once again offered hand of the raven head, shaking it with the necessary amount of contact a hand shake required and nothing more that would make his thoughts run wild for the rest of the day.

As he shook the other men's hands only thoughts running through his head were that of the meeting. Why did he want to meet in private with him Why did he couldn't he just discuss the details there? What was the true purpose of their rendezvous?

He knew better than to let his thoughts run wild on him; it was obvious nothing would happen and he was glad. How could he hate the person if he did indecent things as well?

"Wait that might work." He turned, surprised at how his thoughts projected into the mouth of his subordinate, still analyzing the information he held in his hands.

Renji cleared his throat still a bit shaken from the coincidental double attack life had given him.

"What might work?" He asked, trying to move his thoughts away from the young noble.

"Huh? I was just thinking that maybe if you and the president of the Kuchiki corps were to elope then it would be better for the company." He spoke without even batting an eye at the suggestion.

The look the red head gave him went along the lines of "Are you fucking stupid?" and "Is your head full of shit?"

"Well I was just thinking since homosexual marriage is just as normal as marriage between heterosexuals now a days. Besides you see obviously seem attracted to each, there's no need to hide it." He picked up the paperwork on the desk as he spoke, completely unfazed by the irritated look the red head was directing at him.

"What in the world could have given off any sign of us being remotely attracted to the other?" His voice came out louder than what he expected, surprising even himself at how high pitched and nervous it came off, even if no one else could notice the small difference.

"Well the whole meeting you seemed spaced out staring at the hand you shook with his the whole time and him staring t you. I'm the speaker I could tell." Renji looked around, seeing they were the only ones in the room and raising and eyebrow.

"I was not looking at my hand, I was paying attention to your thing the whole time..."

"Uh-huh sure and I'm the queen of England."

"I don't think you could pull it off with that orange hair of yours, it's too bright, it would seem like you're trying to pass off as a sun goddess or something." The younger man glared patting his unruly hair.

"Pssh whatever redhead, not my problem if you end up in jail for raping a noble." The orange head smirked suggestively, leaving in the room behind a stunned man with his mind full of unchaste thoughts.

* * *

The red head sighed for the umpteenth time that day since he had gotten back to his office. All he could look at was the clock and how cruelly slow the time was moving. He couldn't think about work let alone how his plan was going to come through with these strange feelings surging through him.

"Mr. Abarai? Are you alright?" His secretary Rangiku walked in with a cup of freshly brewed coffee hand and a warm smile on her face.

"Have you been doing your work?" He asked uncaring, already knowing the answer.

"Sort of." She closed the door behind him and sat o the chair across from him, handing him the cup. "I heard what happened, so you got the hots for the noble and you have a date with him tonight!" She squealed like a high school girl.

Renji sighed not even bothering, going back to staring at his desk work, trying to look like he had been doing some type of work the few hours.

"Come on Renji I'm dying here. Tell me! So do you like him?" Said man gritted his teeth, trying to keep his composure, knowing he didn't want to answer something like that.

"Stop joking around you and Ichigo both know perfectly the reason for this whole deal. Stop saying stupid and unnecessary things." He picked up a paper studying it intently and hoping she would drop the whole conversation.

"Yeah, I know. But I don't know if this is going to work out the way you want it to. I feel like it would be better if you went through with this another way. A much more effective and cruel way." The man raised an eyebrow urging her to continue.

"What if instead following through with your plan you do things differently." The orange haired presenter walked in, quickly closing the door behind him.

"What do you mean?"

"We thought that instead you could take. His. Heart." Rangiku smiled, forming a heart with her fingers.

"Elaborate."

"If you make him fall for you then you could easily take control and throw his corp. down a pitfall. Then we can climb to the top." His eyes twinkled as he spoke of his logic, which didn't make any much sense to the red head as to what the other had said.

"What?" Renji asked utterly confused at their plan.

"Ugh, make the noble fall for you, have him eating out of your hands, and take control of his company. Easy one, two, three step." She took the cup, sipping the vanilla coffee after speaking, completely uncaring of how he glared at her for taking it.

"So your telling me to make this guy fall for me so I can then destroy him. Who came up with this plan?"

"We both did, of course I did most of the thinking." Ichigo spoke, studying the miniature statue decoration in the room.

"You mean the gossiping part was yours and then Rangiku came out and said "Wouldn't it be nice if they ended up together" then you came both put your idiot brains together to come up with such a ridiculous plan." The older man shook his head taking back his cup from the woman as she smiled sheepishly.

"Haha boss you know us to well, that's exactly how it happened." Renji rolled his eyes not expecting any less from either of them.

"Well, thanks for the effort but I'm not cruel enough to play with a person's feeling no matter how much I may hate them."

"It's not like they gave any thoughts to any of your feelings when they destroyed your home. Think about it, wouldn't it be nice to give him the equal amount of pain they gave you?" Her voice was low, full of the same pain he himself felt inside.

Renji smiled sadly sat how much the woman cared, not for him but also for her son who shared the same fate.

"Think about it."

"It won't work. Anyway what's wrong with the original plan?"

"You came up with it, that's the problem, anyway there's no harm in trying is there?" Ichigo said, pulling his eyes away from the figurine.

"Both plans work together, if one doesn't work the other one will." Rangiku stood from her chair ready to walk out the door.

"Think about it, the dinner plan information was just sent." She walked out the door headed for her computer where the e-mail of the info had been sent.

"Sixth sense, amazing. She's right though. I think this plan will be more effective and even though it's messed up I think that bastard deserves it. Firing me from his company, humph, that's why he only has mediocre around him now." The orange head grumbled to him as he walked out of the office.

Renji shook his head at his worker, thinking how ridiculous their plan sounded and how ridiculous he was for even considering it.

"It won't hurt to try." He looked up to see Rangiku at the door again smiling like she knew exactly what the man was thinking.

"Would you get back to work." He held back a blush, as she read his thoughts aloud.

"Haha, here, I printed the info, it's too much work having you call me every half an hour to repeat the meeting place, since you're so forgetful." Handing the paper to him, the woman walked out of the room, grin still planted on her face.

"Ugh, I'm not going through with it." He tried to convince himself even if just a little that their plan was bogus and that he wasn't even remotely close to interested in wanting to go through with it, not because it would pain the other man in the end but because it would satisfy the lust he felt for the man inside.

* * *

My, my, it's been so long since I wrote anything, I forgot how accomplished one feels when they finish a chapter and the creeping frustration of how or when the next one will come out.

As you could obviously read, I had no idea where I was headed with this story, the plot changed as I went along and I'm not all that big in mastermind plots or how businesses are run, so this might not have been my best idea seeing as I'm out of my comfort zone. But for that reason I decided to not re-read it or anything of the sort, afraid that I wouldn't post it if I didn't like it. Hopefully you did.

But yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it, if you have any suggestions or comments you know what to do. See you next time :D


End file.
